I had a very strange encounter the other night. Of course, my first thought after it all ended was that it would definitely make for a great story.
It was already dark out when I went to pick up my client. It’s pretty common for us to have “regulars” but this guy, he was not “regular” in any sense.
It’s standard for us to pull up to the client’s house, park the limo, and get out to open the door for them. Common limousine driver etiquette! But not this night. I pulled up to a dark house, no lights on, and saw two silhouettes waiting near the front door. I managed to park the limo, but before I could even undo my seatbelt, I heard the back door being opened. Seemed that this client didn’t want the “limo experience” at all. As if he was climbing into your run-of-the-mill taxi cab, he clambered into the back with his companion.
I started to lower my partition to ask them how their night was going, but as soon as I had it a couple inches down, I heard the man yell “We’re in a rush, just drive please!” Well, alright then. Maybe it was a first date and he was just trying to impress, I thought, and maybe he wanted his privacy. So I did as any good driver does, and I raised the partition back up.
Now, here’s something you may not know about limos. We can hear you up front, even with the partition up. At first, I could only hear a low voice mumbling in the back. But then a few louder outbursts kept coming forth.
“God, you look beautiful tonight.”
Some more low murmuring. Then…
“YOU’RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF!”
And then, a little quieter:
“I’m sorry I yelled. I just want this night to be perfect.”
A few loud lip-smacking noises, followed by a long sigh. The whole drive continued similar to this. Now I’m not one to eavesdrop. Usually, if a client wants the partition up, then I concede and play some music for myself. But this guy really had my attention. And, still weirder, I never heard his lover respond to him.
Well we finally reached our destination: a high-end restaurant on a popular street downtown. It was crowded out front and the limo drew everyone’s attention. Who would be in it? Was a celebrity about to come out? This time I managed to park and get out in time to almost open the door for him. As I reached a hand out, the door flung open and one shiny leg emerged.
Shiny. Glossy, even. I stared at this abnormality for a second before watching as a beautifully-attired lady was carried out of my limo by a man wearing one hell of a stupid grin. The lady, however, had a look of surprise on her face. Her lips formed a perfect “O”, in fact.
Mr. Respect-My-Privacy had brought a blow up doll out on the town.